A person learning to run can practice running by themselves. A person who does this will improve their ability and when they chose to run a race against someone, their practice will pay off. The important thing to understand about this example of learning is that you can practice without the risk of failure because you are practicing by yourself. Most sports are like this. There are things you can practice to hone your skills outside of the game, without the pressure of losing. Once you feel like you have improved, you can then get in the game and only risk losing once you feel that you are ready.
Getting good with women is nothing like this. There is no way to practice without actually practicing inside of the game. You are either playing or not. Sure, read the rule book before you play the game but realize that you can only practice inside of the game. Guys hate this. The reality is that to get good at this game you have to play it as a novice and fail quite a bit before you learn anything in online dating you find. Every guy wants to avoid this learning pain and as a result, most over-research, thinking they can get around it. This actually creates a negative feedback loop. If you start off with a belief that you need to understand all the math equations before you can be successful, what happens?
The first problem is that with the help of the internet, you never feel like you have read enough because there is so much information available, so you just keep on reading. This is a wealth of information creating a poverty of action.
As you attempt to read everything, the next problem you run into is that you start to find contradictory information. For every guru that says one thing you can find another guru that says the opposite. The only way you can filter this information is to actually try it in real life and keep what works for you and throw out what doesn’t.
Tags: adult dating, online dating
This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 30th, 2010 at 9:48 am and is filed under dating.
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